herpes to papparazzi
April 28, 2011 at 1:08 PM I went to a birthday dinner for a friend on Tuesday at a Mexi-Kinda place downtown. The food was less than mediocre but I hear the mixed drinks were awesome. I just had beer, as I don't do frozen margaritas. (Frozen margaritas are a scam; they have almost no alcohol in them.) Anyway, that's all beside the point, other than the fact that I will not really recommend Teala's to anyone because it was so lackluster.
During the evening, people would occasionally break out cameras. I understand that. It's a festive occasion, people photograph those. And I used to love having my photo taken--I'd ham up with a silly pose and be done with it. (Mama Pants used to roll her eyes at me.) However, I'm not 16 anymore and the sight of cameras does not make me strike a silly pose. Generally, it makes me hide altogether. I no longer like having my photo taken. I know this is because of what I look like, specifically, how fat I am. (Shut up and read.) I don't like how I turn out in those photos because I know it's how I really look. I don't want to look like that, I certainly don't want records of me looking like I do. So I now avoid cameras, especially those that belong to people that don't give first right of refusal like I do. (If I take your photo and you hate it, I delete it.) The people who had cameras out were not the type to offer FRoR, so upon sight of the snappers, I immediately took my hair down and made like Cousin It.
(Sidenote: I forgot how handy hair can be for that sort of thing.)
Whenever a camera was pointed in my direction, I'd move my head a little towards the side and hide behind the hair curtain until the flash went off. When people specifically pointed it at my face, I held hands up over my face and asked that they not take photos, that I really didn't want my picture taken. There are two kinds of people in the world when this request is made: those who respect it and move on, and those who think it's a challenge and pursue relentlessly as if it's funny. Guess what kind of people were at dinner. Hint: the asshole kind.
On several occasions, I held my napkin up in front of my face. When I was really fed up with it, I held it up with one prominent finger on each hand showing. When I was behind the wall-o-hair and people were trying to get me to look at the camera, I again employed the message finger. On several occasions, the guy across from me sat with the camera aimed at me, me behind my hair, and waited for me to check to see if he was finished trying to snap me. Being the idiot that he was, he didn't realise I could see the infernal orange light that indicated he was still depressing the button on the camera halfway. In the end, all they got was hair and fuck-you fingers. I've a very keen awareness of my surroundings when I need to and I wasn't about to be caught unaware by these people.
I've been thinking about this since it happened. I don't understand the relentless pursuit of someone who is so obviously opposed to having her photo snapped. In hindsight, I suppose I could have given a speech about how I don't like photos of myself because I'm unhappy with my physical appearance and that photos of me just generally pull me further into the self-esteem pit of shit and kinda make me want to slit my forearms wrist to elbow and I could really just use a break from hating on myself could you please shove that fucking camera right up your pooper?! But I don't see why I should have to be Debbie Downer at a festive event by giving all of that up to someone simply because I'd rather not have my photo taken. (Plus, is that anyone's business? No, it's not.) No one is obligated to sit for a camera. No one is entitled to photographic evidence of someone else without their consent. What is so difficult for people to understand about that? Why is respect and decorum so hard to grasp for some people?
It pisses me off.
Viva la Hair Curtain.
assholes, hair, papparazzi, things that piss me off
Reader Comments (6)
I know exactly how you feel. I'm at that point in my life right now with how I look. I'm fatter than I have ever been before. I recently saw some pictures and thought - NO! - I don't look like that...but true enough I do. While I need to do something about that - I know. But I don't need my fat ass turning up on someone's facebook.
My experience has also proven to me that the ones that insist on taking your pictures are the ones that take the worst pictures. They manage to get all your chins or maybe that perfect side glance where your mammoth arms take up more of the frame.
I so hear you. Good luck with your endeavors.
This is a fabulous post. I'm sorry you had to hang out with fuckers like that, Ms. Pants. After a few attempts to take my picture, I might've asked them if I could see the camera, all nice-like, and then gotten up and moved quickly to the ladies' room where I would promptly hide it someplace, like under the counter. Or behind a pile of paper towels. And then returned to the table without a word, and gotten back to the business of drinking my beer and celebrating the good times.
Fuckin' morons...
Dude. Totally.
People are jerks. Perhaps instead of telling your personal business, you could invent a story about new-found religious beliefs...of seizures...or just tell them they are total assholes. Nobody has any fucking manners any more.
I just have to say thanks for this. I HATE having my picture taken for many reasons, and unfortunately have no wall o' hair to hide behind. What really grinds my gears is when those awful, unflattering, and unapproved-of-by-me photos end up on facebook or some shit like that. Bad enough said person took my photo, but even worse to spread my insecurities all over the web for posterity.
I get it, I do. And even if you were perfectly happy with your appearance (and I'm not even going to start in on how you are beautiful...it doesn't matter what I think, it's what you think and feel that matters) if you made it clear that you didn't want your picture taken, the photogs should have honored that.
In the age of Facebook, MySpace, Twatter and all the other social media sites out there, who wants to have a photo taken of them and then strewn around the Internet? Even if you LIKED the picture, what if you didn't want it out there?
You are way less of a B than me, because I may have sweetly asked if I could take a photo of them, and then deleted every f-ing photo on there that had anything to do with me, hair curtain, middle finger or what. How RUDE of those people!