not cool, kodak
July 5, 2011 at 4:38 PM Last week, we did the annual work meeting where they go over the previous year's numbers and all that hoopla. They also split us up into teams and put each team into limos with cameras and a list of "scavenger hunt" type of situations to photograph. Everyone jumping in the air (and airborn in the photo) at the same time--which was the hardest one to do, everyone on the same slide on a playground, that sort of thing. It was fun, albeit rather hot. None of the ACs in the limos worked very well (or at all, in our case) and it was 103 that day. And then there are 9 of us on the team running around the city for two and a half hours trying to get all these wacky things accomplished.
So I've already mused about how I feel having my photo taken. I had to push that aside, as this was a work thing and I'm rather dependent on my paychecks. I was a good sport. We rotated the camera around the group and I only took two or three of the photos, all of which were at a church. (I thought it was most appropriate that I not be pictured standing in front of a church, lest we all get struck by lightening.) We turned our cameras in once we returned and we went through all the photos from all the teams after that. Meaning, everyone saw everyone else's photos. So the whole company saw photos of me that were taken under conditions that I had no control over--bad lighting, horrible angles, and just... ugh.
It also means that I saw those photos.
Wow.
I'm a little surprised I haven't been impaled in a run-by harpooning by now. It was a little shocking. I mean, I see myself every day--I do what I can to make myself appear as small as possible, which isn't necessarily even near the boarder of "tiny" but apparently, I had no clue.... Those photographs were shocking to me. Bad shock. Bad. F. Horrible. Not a good place. I'm a week away from them now, and they're still seered into my brain and the mere flicker of thought to them can completely (and ironically) deflate my entire day.
Changes, bitches. There are changes happening up in this house.
fatty fat fat, hatin', whoa
Reader Comments (5)
Hence the reason no photo's are taken of me or posted on the internet...any one who tags me gets a nasty note.
Dude, we all have the worst impressions of ourselves when it comes to seeing ourselves in photos.
Except for that Giselle beyotch. I'm willing to bet she has a room full of photos of herself that she likes to hang out in for 5 or 6 hours each day as she does yoga. Fucking asshole...
Oh man, do I know this feeling. I'm MAKING the changes and it's still a kick in the gut when someone puts up a full body shot of me. Ugh, ugh, and triple ugh.
In the meantime we will just have to work hard and insist to one another that "YOU are beautiful and awesome."
Your writing is amazing. I really like your style and taste. I shall read your blog more often in the future. BTW, most of your fashion picks will also be on my wish list, for sure. I don’t know whether you like (this), either.
-decorative key holders
I saw some pictures of myself that my sister tagged on Facebook. I didn't want to believe that they were me. But they were. I was fat. But like bad fat bloated fat. Pimple fat and hair ugly fat.
I'm makin changes.