Entries in Family Pants (6)

Wednesday
Jul272011

August 4 = Menopause

Yeah, so uh, hey.  I'ma have a hysterectomy next Thursday, k?  Well, it's really not up for debate.  Doc says it all has to come out and as I got my degree in English and not Broken Boxes n' Stuff, I'm just going to defer to him and follow his instructions.  Yes, I'm making light of it.  Humour is a defense of mine, a great coping device.  Plus, worrying won't get me anywhere, so why not just let the laughter happen?  It relieves stress.

The long and short of it is that I've currently got cervical cancer.  It was found during my regular trip to the Box Doc and confirmed through a biopsy.  My Box Doc had already scheduled me with a specialist at M.D. Anderson and I was in his office in less than 48 hours, going over a course of action with Mama Pants and Big Daddy Pants.  The best case scenario is a full hysterectomy (ovaries n' all) and it was the one the specialist would prefer to do.  I'm fine with that, as pregnancy is not something I've ever desired to experience.  (Mine or anyone else's for that matter.  Bleh.)

Of course, I'll be staying at the Pants Ranch with Mama Pants and Big Daddy Pants.  And if everything works out well, the contractors will be able to go in and fairy-godmother my place all up while I'm in a narc-haze, drooling on my pillow.  I'll be out of work for 6 weeks and will miss the September rush.  I should be back in time for October rush, but that one shouldn't be too major.  I plan on reading my Kindle (which I adore), watching Netflix, drawing in my lap (not on my lap), and taking over Mama P's laptop. 

To sum up:  everything is okay.  I just left a comment on a blog referencing the surgery yesterday and got a "WTF?!" response; I don't remember who knows and who doesn't anymore so I figured I'd just put it all on blast.  Easier, eh?  Cos you all wanted to know about my vagine, admit it.  Heh.

Friday
Jul222011

weekend update, staring Pants

Well.  This has certainly been one hell of a week.  I'm exhausted and really only worked two and a half days this week.  The house is still a little disassembled and I can still get high on paint fumes in my bathroom especially but it looks gorgeous.  I plan on taking photos this weekend (now that I've located my camera) when I can let the natural light in.

So when you have your family descend upon your house and start going paint happy, your neighbours get very curious.  We had to take down the shades to do paint the window wells and such and the neighbours sure looked in on us as we all worked.  One of them is friends with Amy and told her he wasn't sure what we were doing so he came over and looked into the windows while we were working.  I didn't see him and he's glad I didn't.  I don't mind people doing the passing glance, but the way he described it, he came and pressed his face up to my windows.  Andrew, I'll kick your ass if I ever see you do that shit--trust.

I'm still overwhelmed that everyone took their weekends to come over and help me paint my own house, worked their asses off, and didn't bitch about it.  Mama Pants says that's what family is all about.  I guess I'm so used to being fiercely independent (to a point) that I forget about stuff like that.  This week has totally reminded me what family is about and I know I'm very blessed to have the one I have.  I don't throw the "blessed" word around much because I find it a bit butterberry-asshole, but I am really blessed to have the parents I have, the nephews I have, the friends I have, the cats I have.  Well, the cats are more of a curse I put upon myself, but a curse that turns into a nice thing. 

Speaking of, Liam, the fluffball of whorey love, totally turned the charm on Big Daddy Pants.  I looked over Saturday morning to find him in my dad's arms, snuzzling up against his face, purring, and licking my dad's nose, while Big Daddy Pants gave him mega scritchy love and talked to him.  It was quite cute.  Nice to see my dad in softie moments like that.  He's always Mr. In-Control.  Jimmy and Joe (he's given me permission) are both very much cat people (score!) and were loving on the kitties whenever they had a spare moment.  The kitties weren't sure what was up at first, but quickly realised this was a good thing for them.  They even went in to see Medusa.  She was, of course, an asshole.

I got my Kindle yesterday.  Oh, hey, I bought a Kindle!  And it came yesterday.  I had Amazon credits and decided to just get one, as I don't know anyone who doesn't adore their Kindle.  It's charging right now but I've already bought a book to put on it.  (The Glass Castle.)  Looking forward to reading and trading books with it.  I'll read all the directions tonight to see what's what. 

Friday
Jun172011

like I'm 16 again!

So my face.  My face is rebelling.  I'm breaking out like a Justin Bieber fan would.  And considering I'd like to run over that kid with a lawn mower, this does not please me.  I know it's from being in the sun last weekend.  The heat, me sweating like Sweaty SweatsALot, and having sunscreen on my face.  Almost 36 years with my skin, I can tell the cause of this zit from that zit.  And the current batch of crop circles (and all out evil confetti) on my face are the fault of last Saturday spent miserably outside at a beer festival with no beer.  I seriously hate HBF.  I console myself with the thought that they'll probably never get a permit to do anything in this city ever again. 

My dad and I already did his main present for Father's Day.  I noticed before Mother's Day that Buddy Guy was coming to town in June so I asked him if he'd be interested in going.  He was and I got us the tickets.  I originally put in for 3 of them so Mama Pants could go along as well, but oddly, as I checked out, it only gave me 2 tickets.  Only charged me for 2 as well.  It was very weird.  But we went last Wednesday and had a blast--and the seat next to Big Daddy Pants was empty the whole night.  The show was at the House of Blues (fittingly, as he's a blues guitarist) and while it got hot as all get out upstairs, it was a damn good show.  I was shocked to find out that Buddy Guy is 74.  Total example of "black don't crack."  Jealous.

We're still doing lunch on Father's day though.  And I bought three boxes of See's Molasses Chips for Big Daddy Pants.  He loves 'em.  So do I, unfortuantely.  So I'm wrapping them as soon as I get home so they don't suddenly dwindle down to two boxes.  Afterwards, Mama Pants said we might tool over to Lowe's and look more closely at bathroom stuff.  Dad wants to redo my bathroom--it's still got everything original from when the places were built in the 80s.  There surely isn't enough room for a garden tub or a clawfoot tub--in space or in budget, as the clawfoot I saw there a few weeks ago was more than $1100.  I need to take measurements tonight.  Note to self.

I also started looking at paint colours yesterday.  I got a good idea of the colours I'd like to do and I'm pretty sure my parents are going to look at me like I'm insane.  They're very into the whole "everything is one colour:  white" thing.  Me?  I want colour.  I've lived with the "everything is oddbeige" for a long time.  I want some colour up in here!  Everything I was picking out for the living room was pretty earthy toned.  I believe I'm going with a green and yellow thing.  Colourful, but not an eye-assault.  My bedroom will be in blues--a very light, airy, almost white blue for the main walls, and a deep, saturated, night blue for the little window nook.  (Most of the nook will eventually be covered with curtains, so it will be a very small pop.)  The bathroom--I'm still up in the air on that one, but I'm leaning towards steely greys.  The kitchen is the eye-assault.  I think kitchens should be fun.  I would love to do an electric blue, but as it will be visible from the living room, it has to coordinate, which means I might need to earth down the blue a bit.  Or change up completely and do an eggplant in there.  The best part?  No drop cloths necessary.  Since the floors are being replaced, I can slop it everywhere.  (And I will.)

And now, we pretend this is a suitable segue....

A gal on my team is the Crazy Dog Lady, like I'm the Crazy Cat Lady.  She might be a bit crazier.  Obviously I love her.  She's currently got 9 dogs on her property.  (She lives way way way out in the country and has a sizable chunk of property.)  She's raising 3 puppies from two strays.  It was 4, but one was already adopted, as was the mama.  The daddy dog is a street dog who hangs around to get fed because she's nice and feeds him.  Once the puppies are gone, daddy dog is going to get his balls deballed.  She owns 4 of the dogs on her own--was 5, but lost one late last year sadly.  And someone recently dropped a lovely dog near her property last week so she's been feeding him as well.  She's pretty amazing.  Takes them to the vet to make sure they're healthy (which is as much for her own dogs as for the strays and stragglers) and works with a local rescue to find suitable homes for them.  She won't just give them away to anyone; the owners must be screened and approved.  I admire her dedication.  She really should be running some sort of rescue operation, though sadly those never bring enough money to live on.  She's certainly not the beancounter type.  I have no idea how she fell into that profession, but I'm glad she did cos she makes me feel less insane for my feline menagerie.

And now, just for the weekend, I've got your TMI report:  I'm not wearing any knickers today.  Ha!

Wednesday
Mar232011

43 years

Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad!!

Wednesday
Oct202010

#7: Someone who makes my life worth living for [sic]

Someone who makes my life worth living for? That's an oddly worded prompt. Why not just "someone who makes my life worth living?" Why must I live for that person? Why can't I be that person, considering it's my own life that I'm living?

I have a lot of awesome people in my life. I like to surround myself with them because they are awesome. Who wants to be surrounded by assholes and mediocrity? That's easy to accomplish. Go to a WalMart. You'll be lucky to be surrounded by assholes and mediocrity. A WalMart would probably make you appreciate assholes and mediocrity. But really. You deserve better. Don't go to WalMart. Please. Just don't.

So yeah, I've got awesome friends and family. My mom's favourite word is "fuck" and she uses it prolifically. My father spits out phrases like "motherless whore" and "butterberry asshole." My nephews blow my mind. My brother amuses the shit out of me. My friends send me shoes and indulge my stupid puns. They overlook that I like horrible television shows and aren't afraid to tell me when to put the fucking crackberry away, goddammit! They are people I call when I shit myself. That's friendship, right there. I don't live for them, but they make living just that much more enjoyable and I'm glad to have them along for the ride.

What do I live for? Well, because the process is an adventure. And it sure beats the alternative.